I am afraid of the dark. Even as a “spry” twenty-five year old. I hate being in the dark, not knowing what’s in front of me. I hate feeling like there’s open space all around me and I can’t see anything ..or anyone that may or may not be residing in that open space..
I’m also pretty accident prone so even when I can see around me I get hurt, if I can’t see I’m that more terrified of hurting myself.
I bring all this to light because I have yet to sleep (insomnia strikes at random for me) and I needed to get something from my car. I waited till the sun came up because when it’s dark outside it feels quieter.. It feels like anything or anybody could easily jump me and I would not be able to fight back…
Maybe this is something that I’ve just been raised to be cautious about. To always be scared of the dark and those who reside in the dark… It sucks to live in fear but some of us don’t have a choice but live in fear everyday.
I’m getting real in these next few parts.. Fair warning. It’s late and I’m thinking a lot.
We’re all human, we all have fears, we all have a favorite color and food… We all have dreams and ambitions, hearts beating blood through our veins.
Yet based on our genders, our sexual preferences, our ethnicities, and skin colors… so many people have to be scared every day they wake up because sometimes, there are ignorant people who just see something that doesn’t think or act like them so it must be wrong.
I feel like people just get so bored with their lives. They get so used to their rut that, seeing someone live their life the way they couldn’t or were raised to believe that way of living is wrong, must be so infuriating for them… I guess.
I see new articles every damn day, headlining “Another Trans Victim” … I see Tweets from other Asian-Americans who are tired of facing rascism and being labled as “unattractive” because of Asian characteristics they were BORN with and have no control over…
All these human beings struggling to live in a white cis male dominant world who believe everyone should be just like them.
Sorry.. rant/vent over… I’m just tired of being scared.
Wish me luck.