Being Asian in a Small Town of White Folks

I knew it was going to happen and it did. I knew that this was a small town and I was probably going to be part of a small number if not the only Asian here. Yet here I am, here I’ve moved into an amazing home… But I feel alone.

Instead of getting a smile or wave back from neighbors or passerby walkers/drivers, I get weird looks and just get ignored.

I took my dog, Momo, out for a walk today with a friend. Literally down the street from my house, there were teenagers just tossing a football around when they decided to turn in my direction and from a very far distance start shouting something at me. I thought they were complimenting my dog and were just greeting me. But I caught the key words “Chinese” and then “bitch” mixed in… I am starting to realize they probably were saying something along the lines of me eating my dog… since that’s a whole stigma/stereotype

I’m genuinely upset and distraught because this is my fear coming into reality. People seeing me as just some Asian person who doesn’t speak English, who eats dogs, who brought Coronovirus to the states, etc I’m so sad.. because these do not define who I am.. I am not to blame. I was born here in the US. I love my dog so much, I’ve done everything I can to stay safe during this pandemic…

Now I feel like it’s better to just draw the curtains closed at home and stay home as much as possible… I’m scared now, that teenagers are going to spray paint my first home with “Go back to China” or something…

Do people really not realize the impact they have on others? The fear they instill on others from the thoughtless words they say?

I just wanted to walk my dog.. enjoy the really nice weather outsideI wanted to get to know the community I’ve moved to.. but I don’t think they want me here.

…Wish me luck.

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