Emotions

Most of the time, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on how I’m feeling and why I do certain things or decide certain things. Other times, I just stop everything I’m doing and start crying…like ugly crying… One of those times was today..

Since moving to the new home I’ve been slowly but surely unpacking boxes and getting things organized as best I can. I was fine and was even proud of myself for organizing this morning.

My partner finally woke up around 1 PM and I got to show them what I did! I showed them the fridge because I put things in logical places and got rid of a bowl of soy sauce that was sitting in there since two nights ago

They got upset because they said that we could have reused the soy sauce and it was such a waste… And I don’t know why but this made me break down crying

I don’t know… I was just working so hard to get things organized and put in it’s place and he was… disappointed? Upset? It broke my heart… I just started crying right then and there. It may be my brain bringing up memories that were similar to this instance so my heart and emotions reacted the same way it did the first time I experienced it.

Of course they immediately felt bad about how they reacted but then I also felt bad for crying for no reason… I get that it was disappointing. I felt stupid for not thinking it through before throwing out the whole bowl of soy sauce. I felt bad for making them feel bad because I just started crying out of no where! Ugh.

Emotions are hard man. I feel like I repress my emotions a lot for I don’t even know how long and it just..comes out sometimes…

Anyways.. wish me luck.

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